Although the first woman was not accepted to the Rabbinical School of the Jewish Theological Seminary of America until the 1980's I believe that the decision to ordain women came much earlier. It didn't happen in the 1980's or even the 70's or 60's. It goes much further back than that and the decision was reflected in decisions made in individual communities, each in its own way.

Here is how it happened in my community.

Congregation Kehillath Israel in Brookline, Massachusetts had two religious schools. There was the Hebrew School and there was the Girls' School, which closed a couple of years after I graduated Hebrew School in 1969. We had 60 kids in our graduating class, 51 of them, a mixture of boys and girls, graduated the Hebrew School and 9, all girls, graduated the Girls' School.

The Girls' School, which was somewhat of a mystery to those of us in the Hebrew School, had a lighter curriculum, more focused on home rituals and far less rigorous than the five day a week school we attended which concentrated on studying Torah and Rashi, classical Hebrew and tefilla.

I don't know when the first girl was accepted into the regular Hebrew School instead of the Girls' School but I believe that that was the day the Conservative movement decided to ordain women. It just took us 50 or 60 years to realize that is what had been decided.

I say this because from the first day that boys and girls studied together in Conservative synagogues, it made no sense whatsoever to have them attend the same class, study the same material, put in the same hours, speak the same language, take the same tests, forego other after school activities like little league and music lessons, be graded on attendance at Junior Congregation, get the same dirty looks from frustrated teachers and not be given the same opportunity to lead a Jewish community.

It made no sense. But, it went on for 40 or 50 years.

I didn't think about how senseless it was until 1977, my first year in Rabbinical School. The school year traditionally started with an opening breakfast and I came back from my first such breakfast to my dorm room to find a note tacked to the door. The note was written by a friend of mine named Debby Cantor whom I had just worked with for two months in the same division at Camp Ramah. We had just graduated Brandeis a month before and Debby called me from Camp because she had heard that I didn't have a summer job and convinced me to come to Camp Ramah to be a counselor.

Debby was the Rosh Edah, the Division Head and I was a Counselor From watching Debby, I learned how to effectively run an educational program, how to give a d'var Torah to kids, how to discipline kids in a camp setting and, most importantly, I leardned from her how important it was to do this holy work which I did at Camp Ramah for the next 12 summers.

So, back to the first day of Rabbinical School. I found a note she left me written on the stationery of her school: The Graduate School in Jewish Education of the Jewish Theological Seminary. The note said with not very well hidden envy: "Dear Rob: How's Rabbinical School, you lucky dog." That's when it hit me how senseless this all was.

Thank God, some 10 years later, Debby was ordained as a Rabbi, 6 years later than she should have been.

The decision was made back in the 30's or 40's but no one was ready to admit it until the 1980's. And, in between, two or three generations of women were passed over and never got the chance to serve as Rabbis. And we are all the poorer for it.

One could argue that processes like these take time. I agree. One could argue that change must come gradually. I agree. But, at some point, you look back and say: How could we ever have thought it was wrong? How many opportunities did we miss in the meantime and how many people did we exclude?

This December, as you well know, the Committee on Jewish Law and Standards of the Rabbinical Assembly will vote on teshuvot, responsa, concerning the admission of students into the Rabbinical School as candidates for ordination regardless of sexual orientation. However, I believe, we have already made this decision.

Some 15 years ago, the Conservative movement sent a message to gay and Lesbian Jews saying in essence: "Don't hide, Don't lie, Don't be ashamed. Join us as you are. You are part of us. We need you. We welcome you." The message was and is clear.

Rabbis and Congregations found different ways to interpret the statement of welcome. Even if some Rabbis were, and are, uncomfortable with appearing to sanction homosexual relationships, and they are entitled to feel that way, our movement has identified itself as welcoming and no Jew need walk into this or any Conservative synagogue and feel they can not be themselves. And the statement is clear in its foundation: "We respect you and you are part of us.

And, when that statement was made, the Conservative movement made the decision to ordain gay and lesbian Rabbis. From that moment, there was no turning back. Because, we can not welcome people into our congregations, sit with them, study with them, learn from them, celebrate with them, mourn with them and then tell those who are otherwise qualified that they can't be the role models for our young people, teach Torah, comfort us in times of need and lead our communities.

The only question is: when will the decision come?

I do not intend here to belittle the halachic process. We must remain a halachic movement and I respect my colleagues on the Committee on Jewish law and Standards tremendously. I can't do what they do. I don't have the expertise or the time to immerse myself in halachic inquiry. And, if our movement is what it says it is, someone has to do it. And they do it very well. But, the discussion has gone on for a log time and the time has come to take a stand.

The halachic question is: if homosexual acts are against halacha, how can we ordain active homosexuals? The fact is that the models of interpreting halacha differently are there and they have been presented cogently by many Rabbis, many of them on the Committee of Jewish Law and Standards.

And, there is also the possibility of making a takkanah, a Rabbinic injunction permitting such activity based on our contemporary understanding of the issue of sexual orientation. That is the course I prefer.

I remember something that one of my teachers in Rabbinical School taught us. Although there are four sections of the Shulchan Aruch, the Medieval Code of Jewish Law he used to tell us that there really is one more. The fifth is saychel, common sense.

And I would add, that in my opinion, there is a sixth as well. The sixth is k'vod habriyot, proper respect for another human being. Even if we have trouble finding a reason to allow for the ordination of individuals irrespective of their sexual orientation in the first four volumes, we must do it simply because not to do so would be to go against common sense and would be impugning the honor of other human beings.

It has to be time. This can not wait any longer. We can not expect to be taken seriously at our word by gay and lesbian Jews that we value them unless we are willing to prepare them to lead our communities. We can not afford to look back 20 years from now when the decision is formalized and regret waiting 20 years.

The time has long since come to stop allowing sexual orientation to prevent otherwise qualified candidates from entering Rabbinical School, being ordained as Rabbis, and leading our communities. Our movement is crying out for new leaders, needing desperately to enliven our congregations with new voices and visionary ideas and we need every gifted and talented Rabbi we can find.

So many families of our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters are finding beauty and meaning in their relationships and we must learn from them and encourage them and help them to more fully embrace their loved ones.

And finally, and maybe most importantly, as our society is exposed to those who spread their obscene and hate filled stereotyping and scapegoating of homosexuals, we must make this statement now. Frankly, if we continue this exclusion, even if we think we're doing it for the right reasons, we are contributing to the alienation, the ostracization and the discrimination against human beings who have every bit of the image of God as anyone else.

When I first spoke on this issue some 13 years ago, I did so in the context of teaching about the mitzva of hachansat orchim, welcoming in guests. I ended by saying that welcoming gay and lesbian Jews into our congregations is not hachnasat orchim because we are all guests in God's house. We are all part of the community. No one is on the outside.

We have welcomed all Jews regardless of sexual orientation into our synagogues. Together, we are children, parents, siblings, friends, students and teachers. We must be Rabbis together as well.

Robert Dobrusin, Rabbi
Copyright © 2006, Robert Dobrusin.
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This message was originally posted on June 12, 2006.

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